A Morte é a Curva da Estrada

A morte é a curva da estrada,
Morrer é só não ser visto.
Se escuto, eu te oiço a passada
existir como eu existo.
A terra é feita de céu.
A mentira não tem ninho.
Nunca ninguém se perdeu.
Tudo é verdade e caminho.
Fernando Pessoa

A Vida Depois da Morte

Depois da morte a vida não sabe a nada. Sabe a vazio, a oco, a vácuo. Depois da morte não se vive. Tudo pára. Tudo fica calmo, plácido. Breu. Silêncio.

E a tua cara séria, pálpebras pousadas entre as flores. Som. Luz. E vêem-se lágrimas e ouvem-se gemidos. E ouvem-se silêncios contundentes e vêem-se sorrisos afogados: "já não se lembra", "lembro, sim."; um esforço... Respostas deslizam rápidas. Falar emociona... Faltam as palavras. Um companheiro quebrado, segura-se com força aos amigos que abraça em série. Dor. Vazio forte no olhar do ventre. Vazio sentido. Falta um... Abraço apertado. Confusão. Uma multidão desconhecida, espessa e escura movimenta-se lenta em torno do corpo florido.

Fátima. Lembram-me as tuas mousses de chocolate e a tua mão sempre lampeira para me servir de mimos. Lembra-me a tua voz doce, que não sabia gritar, erguendo-se perante as nossas inúmeras tentativas de suicídio a brincar. "Oh, Luís!" e um braço partido no baloiço. Lembra-me o teu nome choramingado no páteo para evitar um arrufo conjugal, "oh, Fatinha..." (e eu baralhada...), ou um raspanete maternal, "oh, mamã...". Confusão. E uma multidão desconhecida, pequenina e colorida correndo frenética em torno do teu corpo florido.

A vida depois da morte é interminável. A vida depois da morte é pueril. A vida depois da morte é florida.

Viva tu.

Facebook Says

Facebook says I am amazing and I have a ranking to prove it. Facebook is great! Thank you, Facebook.

But, despite its greatness, Facebook is superfast. Our lives are superfast. Because we now can have two existences. No wonder religion is failing. We have to take care of our real life existence and our beyond existence in real time! We have to take care of our online existence, our wandering spirit on the web, our avatar.

Facebook is the new oracle.

In realtime, one has real life relationships to manage and virtual online ones as well. But aren't they all real in the end? It's all real people establishing real connections between each other. Recently I read a tweet that said "together is the new alone" from someone whith who I had shared a little shell which name means "solitary togetherness". The concepts of "together" and "alone" keep coming to our minds in pairs, as if they were unseparable (what a lovely oxymoron!). And they are. And we feel alone, even (sometimes, specially) when together. No wonder! Among so many people, so many connections, so many relationships... We are not prepared biologically to deal with it. We fail to respond as we would like to all the demands and needs of the many people we love. Or would love to love... And we get sad facing the so many good opportunities of following beautiful people we know we will probably never even meet live or see again. Because, online or not, we know they are real.

On its limit, life can become mere consumption. And this applies to everything: work, love, tax paying... We have the whole world in front of us and accessible. One click and you are part of another amazing project, another amazing life. One click and you are even more tangled in this endless riddle of network building. And the more tangled you are the faster you go. And the faster you go the easiest you slip into the meshes of frustration. One click and you add a new interest to your life. One click and you erase someone from it forever. Just like you do in real life. But easiest, faster and in double!

Facebook says I am amazing and I have a ranking to prove it. Facebook says I am measurable through statistics. Facebook says to add friends, advise friends to others, even buy friends! Facebook makes my life good. Facebook makes the whole world accessible while I am totally alone, sitting with my laptop, writing some work report or a post on my blog. Facebook says I am dear to others. Facebook says a lot. (Facebook is a woman!) Facebook should shut the fuck up sometimes! Facebook would never say I am stupid or a bitch or a looser. Facebook is good to me. I should worship Facebook and recommend it to others. Facebook is a religion, is a pill, is a drug. Facebook makes me feel good. Facebook is something I sometimes want to get rid off. Facebook is addicting. Facebook makes me jealous. Facebook makes me wonder. Facebook is together. Facebook is alone. Facebook is an escape like any other. Facebook is an opportunity like any other. Facebook is like going for a coffee downstairs. Facebook helps you think. Facebook is a period. Facebook is a tool. Facebook is just part of life.

And I have a new friend, who I am finally meeting after a long time sharing loneliness together on Facebook.

Thank you, Facebook.

Para a minha amiga Mafalda

Meus caros, volta-se porque se tem saudade,
Porque se foi feliz intimamente.
Volta-se porque se tocou num inocente
E porque se encontrou tranquilidade.

A despeito da vida que acorrente
Volta-se, volta-se para a sinceridade.
Volta-se sempre, tarde ou de repente,
Na alegria ou na infelicidade.

E nada como esse apelo da lembrança
Para se transfigurar numa esperança
Essa desolação que uma alma leve.

Assim é que, partindo, eu vou levando
Toda a desolação de um até-quando
Num ardente desejo de até-breve.

Vinicius de Morais

The Picture of Time

The Picture of Dorian Gray was one of the finest books I ever had the pleasure to read. To a point I was even scared of it...

Watching the movie reminded me of such intense piece of literature, stuck somewhere in the back of my mind after so many years. And, although it is not by far as brilliant as the original piece (actually, if it weren't for some really stupid special effects, it could've been quite brilliant in its own kind), it got me thinking.

Why do we fear time?

A friend in need was in mind. As many other that I have been meeting through the way, equally upset. As myself? I wonder...

I came accross an interesting article on the brain's perception of time, which also influenced my thought. What is time but perception itself? A picture (or an array of pictures) we keep to help us survive. Like air to breathe. Remembering is too a basic need. Something to hold you still and help you understand who you or those around you are and why. Another way of escapism. As it is to oppose it.

Dorian Gray sold his soul to the devil through a picture that worked as an unpleasant memories' keeper. Many people keep such pictures locked in their dusty attics. I'd say everyone. Dealing with our fears is hard and sometimes impossible (for example, if one dies!). Dealing with The Picture of Dorian Gray is not easy. It's scary. So it's best if one locks it in the dusty shadowy attic. Or in an unimportant drawer. Yet, it is there. Waiting. Calling... Dorian Gray didn't even imagine what he was looking for. He was just a boy, used to keep bad memories in the attic. Vulnerable to others who, once as innocent as him, feeded their envy and regret with the young man's gloomy immaculate beauty.

Dorian Gray is everyone.

To persue beauty and youth and pleasure and freedom is what we all do. To fear time and age and ugliness and loss is what we all do. The ways in which one does it might be different but, as Harry says to Dorian, "it is all a matter of perspective". To get to know our own aims and fears is essential. Yet, being obsessed by one's own picture of time is mediocre and reducer. Selfish hedonism and carelessness can only lead to shortsighted vacuity. Death.

"I would like to propose a large (think Stonehenge) mechanical clock, powered by seasonal temperature changes. It ticks once a year, bongs once a century, and the cuckoo comes out every millennium.", says computer scientist Daniel Hillis, co-Chairman at The Long Now Foundation. Having a wider perception of time (and space and people and context and circumstances...) helps us understand our natural condition better. We are part of a huge network to which we all can add something. And everything you add is valid. As Harry would say to Dorian, all is experience. There is no good or bad, just interaction. This wider perception, though, implies commitment, implies responsibility, implies humanity. On the other hand, looking at our picture of time is also fundamental to understand our limits and, thus, be realistic to our furthest and widest goals.

Perceiving time is perceiving life.

Dorian Gray was right. Dorian Gray is dead.